For Veterans Day, I want to thank each and every service member who has ever stepped foot on foreign soil.
I initially joined the army in December of 1991 and left for basic training the next August.
I dropped out of community college after one quarter and had recently been arrested for underage drinking. To say that my life was going nowhere was an understatement.
Besides an uncle that served in the army for a couple of years in the 50’s, I had no one in my family that had ever served in any of the Armed Forces. For the record, I do have a great –great grandfather that joined the Confederacy in April of 1865. I’m not sure he ever made it out of the county, as the war ended on April 9, 1865.
I have so much respect for those who served in previous wars. The origin of Veterans Day can be traced back to honoring the veterans of WWI. Those that served in WWII were truly the cream of the crop of The Greatest Generation. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for those that served in the Korean War, which, sadly, is often referred to as The Forgotten War. The veterans of Vietnam deserve our respect, appreciation, and support now more than ever. The way they were treated upon their return from war is a sad chapter in our nation’s great history, but there is ample time to make it up to them.
According to a recent report, there is only one surviving American veteran from WWI. One would have to visit Charles Town, West Virginia to give proper thanks to Mr. Frank Buckles. There are many more survivors of WWII; however, they are dying at an alarming rate of more than 1,000 a day. Quite simply, these great Americans are responsible for our very way of life. There is still time to go out of your way and pay proper respect for these immortal heroes. For most, a sincere “thank you” will suffice. For others, maybe they’d be more inclined to lunch at the Piccadilly Cafeteria.
I touched on each of the major conflicts from the 20th century for a number of reasons. Those that served the United States in the aforementioned conflicts did so for a variety of reasons ranging from love of country to having their draft card pulled. I joined for neither reason.
Now make no mistake about it; I love my country. There is not a greater nation on this earth and there is nowhere other than the USA that I will ever call home. Having said that, I initially joined the army because my life was going nowhere and fast at that. Bear in mind that I enlisted after the first Gulf War, so there wasn’t too much going on in the world. I loved my country vehemently, but the nation wasn’t exactly calling for the best and brightest to step up to the plate at that time. I joined because I needed direction in life and I prayed that the army could provide the much needed guidance.
Not only did I enlist, but I also persuaded my best friend, Shea, to enlist, as well. Before going down for my physical, my recruiter told me “not to be doing all that stuttering” and informed Shea not to have an asthma attack or each of us would be disqualified from serving. Well, I just shook my head a lot and Shea had no problems breathing, and we passed the physical with flying colors. Although we did not go in on the buddy system, our paths did cross during our combat medical training at Fort Sam Houston, Texas, and again while I was stationed at Fort Sill, Oklahoma, and he was at one of our satellite units in Arkansas.
Enlisting in the army was, hands down, the greatest decision I ever made in my life. The first time I put on the uniform and laced up the boots, I realized that I was part of something special. I took great pride in wearing a military uniform for the United States of America. I never played sports in high school, but I could never imagine suiting up for a better team. By the way, my feet were killing me after that first day.
After the completion of my training in January of 1993, I was assigned to what was then known as Landstuhl Army Regional Medical Center (LARMC) in Germany. The word “Army” has since been dropped from its official name, and as a reference point, this is where today’s wounded warriors from the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan are transported on a daily basis.
I was a medic working on the orthopedic ward on that fateful day in October of 1993 when all the Army Rangers were flown in from Somalia. Glued to CNN, we had seen the events that had unfolded in Mogadishu the previous day. We knew that it was only a matter of time before we got really busy. Up to that point, Private First Class Fuller had only taken care of soldiers, retirees, and family members recovering from routine orthopedic surgery.
I took great pride in my job before the, soon to be famous, Blackhawk Down incident but being able to truly serve these great heroes in their time of need is still one of the highlights of my life. Anyone who saw the movie can only imagine what these guys went through. I sincerely felt that I made a difference. Sadly, there was no mention of a stuttering medic anywhere in the movie.
The following year, there was a mortar explosion in Sarajevo that killed 68 people and injured in excess of 200. It was once again time to batten down the hatches because we were about to get busy. The powers that be at Landstuhl discharged all noncritical patients, cancelled all elective surgeries, and put every swinging soldier on alert.
If my memory serves correct, there were between 70 and 80 soldiers flown in from the massacre in Mogadishu. On this day in early February 2004, the patients rolled in one after another. Not only did we bring in those injured in the most recent attack but also those that had been injured from previous skirmishes. When all was said and done, over 400 patients from Sarajevo had all but occupied LARMC. For as long as I live, I will never forget the vile odor of gangrene that emanated from some of these kind-hearted and grateful individuals upon their arrival. Neither will I forget the constant challenge in preventing them from trying to smoke in the hospital, particularly those wearing oxygen.
Unlike the rangers who were whisked in and out, these folks stayed with us for several weeks. Once again, there was an injection of pride, knowing that we were doing something good for mankind. I was only able to participate in such a life altering event, because I made the decision to serve my country and represent the United States of America.
In February of 1995, Specialist Fuller reported to Fort Sill, Oklahoma, home of the Field Artillery. I was assigned to the 1/17th Field Artillery as a combat medic.
On the morning of April 19, 1995, I was listening to the radio when there was breaking news of an explosion at the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City. I will never forget watching those events unfold on television and getting the word that all medics were on call to provide medical aid in OKC should our services be needed. We never did get the call. To this day, I’m not sure if that was a good thing or not. It would have been an honor to help our fellow Americans but quite upsetting at the same time.
Although I was very proud to serve in this great unit with many great men, my time there was quite uneventful. We simply trained and were always assigned with meaningless tasks such as mowing, weed-eating, and picking up garbage. By now, I felt that I had the discipline, direction, and tools to give myself a shot at living a productive and respectable life. My enlistment was coming to an end and there would be no reenlistment ceremony for Fuller.
I was very proud of my 4 years that I gave to the army. On occasion, people would thank me for my service. Although thankful for their appreciation, something was missing. Sure I served honorably, but I was never put in harm’s way, excluding some of the back alleys of Frankfurt. I always wanted to deploy and always wanted to be awarded a combat patch so I could wear that proudly on my right shoulder for eternity.
I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do after college. I had interviewed at various sales jobs prior to graduation but wasn’t very optimistic about working just to make money for someone else. Greatly assisted by the Montgomery G.I. Bill, I graduated from Auburn University at Montgomery in August of 2001. Still trying to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, I was awakened by a phone that would not stop ringing on the morning of September 11, 2001.
To make what has already been a long story a little bit shorter, I reported to Officer Candidate School (OCS)at Fort Benning, Georgia on September 11, 2002. This time, I joined for all the right reasons. I didn’t have to join because I was out of options. I joined because I felt there could be nothing greater than serving one’s nation in time of war. This time, our nation was calling our brightest and best and whether I was the brightest or the best is debatable, but I was there to answer the call nonetheless.
Graduating OCS was and still is my greatest achievement, and in January 2003, Second Lieutenant Fuller was sworn in as a commissioned officer in the United States Army. After completion of my Officer Basic Course at Fort Eustis, Virginia, I was assigned to the 3rd Brigade of the 2nd Infantry Division at Fort Lewis, Washington. We were first Stryker Brigade in the army and were gearing up to deploy in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. I couldn’t have been happier.
Located near Virginia Beach, Ft. Eustis is approximately 3,000 miles away from Washington State. Knowing that I was deploying to Iraq and not knowing if I’d ever get the opportunity to drive across country again, I took 28 days of leave and zig-zagged my way across America to the tune of 9,880 miles. I found my way from the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia to Paradise Valley in Montana. I explored Mammoth Cave in Kentucky and the Grand Canyon in Arizona. I saluted the great Americans that are forever engraved on Mount Rushmore and stood in awe at the beauty of Crater Lake in Oregon. I got lost in Yellowstone National Park and again in Yosemite.
I share this adventure with you for a couple of reasons. I want you to know how much I love America. I not only saw the best of what America has to offer as far as its unparalleled scenic wonders but also to convey to you the kindness and generosity that was bestowed upon me at every stop I made. I don’t know if it was the numerous duffel bags in the Jeep or the high and tight hair cut, but everyone knew I was military. Everyone said thanks for serving; some by buying my lunch, some by getting me a cold beer, and some by just a good, old-fashioned, sincere “thank you.”
We deployed to Iraq in November of 2003 and returned a year later. As a platoon leader, sadly, I lost two of my soldiers in April of 2004. Phillip Rogers died instantly on April 4 and Tyanna Felder died 3 days later from injuries sustained from the same road side blast. Our battalion lost another about a month later. Sergeant Rubaclava was killed instantly during a mortar attack while leaving the dining facility in Mosul. A month after we redeployed, a suicide bomber, disguised as an Iraqi security officer, entered the same dining facility in Mosul killing 22 personnel, including 14 soldiers. It’s surreal to think that we ate there 3 times a day.
When I wasn’t playing Lieutenant Fuller, I was often found onstage performing my brand of stand-up comedy as Jody Fuller, The Stuttering Comic. One of my performances from Iraq was submitted to an online comedy competition and the rest is history, albeit my own. Having felt that I had truly served my country when it needed me most, I decided not to reenlist and to pursue a career in stand-up comedy. I could still serve my country by performing frequently for the troops, along the lines of Bob Hope.
My service obligation ended in 2006 and it was bittersweet. I knew I would miss the camaraderie with the troops, but I certainly would not miss waking up early, running, and shaving.
Four months later, I enlisted in the Alabama National Guard. I really missed serving. I missed the camaraderie and the adventure. I missed the pride in the wearing of the uniform.
Nine months later, I had deployment orders in hand once again. I was assigned to the 1203rd Engineer Battalion based out of Dothan, Alabama. Our mission in Iraq would be to serve as the battalion headquarters for several National Guard engineering companies from literally all over America. Our subordinate units were as follows: 224 Engineer Company (EN CO) from Oregon, 817 EN CO from North Dakota, 288 EN CO from Mississippi, 182 EN CO from Massachusetts, and 833 EN CO from Iowa. After training at Fort McCoy, Wisconsin, we deployed to Iraq for nearly a year. Our mission was to safely clear the routes of Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs) and we exceeded all expectations as the number of IEDs was reduced by more than 90%.
We returned safely from Iraq in early summer of 2008. We lost one soldier who, unfortunately, died as a result of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
Soon, I plan to resurrect my career in stand-up comedy but I will continue to serve in the National Guard for as long as they will have me. There is nothing greater than believing in something bigger than yourself, except for actually serving something bigger than yourself.
My best friend Shea also left the army in 1996 after the completion of his 4-year enlistment. After receiving his Masters Degree in Social Work from the University of Alabama, he continued to serve by going to work for the Department of Veterans Affairs in Shreveport, Louisiana. Several days before I deployed in 2007, I, Captain Fuller, had the honor of swearing Second Lieutenant Shea Wilkes into the United States Army Reserves. He is currently deployed to Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom.
I believe there are a lot of men and women in uniform with similar stories such as mine. Maybe we didn’t initially join for the same reasons as our grandfathers but after the events of 9/11 everything changed. People were chomping at the bit to serve because we were attacked. We certainly understand the importance and the history of what it means to be a soldier, airmen, sailor, or marine. Those who serve honorably always support their Commander in Chief, regardless of their political persuasion, and will answer their nation’s call.
Over 4,000 American troops have lost their lived during the Global War on Terror and thousands more have been severely wounded. They served voluntarily so others wouldn’t have to serve involuntarily.
During my latest deployment, there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t receive a letter, a post card, an email, or a package from a grateful American.
Over the years, the support for the Global War on Terrorism has dwindled; however, the support for the troops has never been higher. On behalf of each and every service member who has ever stepped foot on foreign soil, I want to thank each and every one of you for your past, current, and future support.
God Bless America.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Worst Decision Ever!
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Worst Decision Ever!!!!!!!!!
Current mood: nostalgic
In the summer of 1991, I ran over a beaver. Went back to the house. Got a garbage bag. Went back and recovered my road kill. Went back to the house and started drinkin' and thinkin'. After more boos than an Irish haunted house, I vowed to get it mounted. I threw it into a cooler full of ice. I forgot about it, and for two weeks, it simmered in the 95 degree Alabama heat. I went to get the cooler one day to fill it with beer. Apparently the cooler had a great seal, because when I opened it, it was like an atomic bomb filled with 2-week old dead beaver water exploding right in my face. We all have said something "smelled like ass." Trust me. You have never smelled the degree of ass that I smelled that hot humid day. That thing had swollen up like a wet Tom Clancy paperback. So after regaining my composure, I picked up the cooler, stuck it in the trunk of the ole Taurus and drove as fast as I could out into the country to dispose of the body. As I was reaching speeds that would have qualified me for Talladega, a deer ran out into the road and I slammed on my brakes. The dead beaver ass water tipped over in my trunk and the smell was so volatile that, before I knew it, my windshield was covered in the previous nights ram "and" noodles. Between the tears and the noodles, I could not see a thing and instinctly turned on my windshield wipers. Of course that did no good, so I finally just slammed on my brakes, popped the trunk, jumped out, grabbed the beaver by the tail, BUT it slid off like a 4-week old banana peel. I cannot replicate the sound that came out of my mouth when that happened. It's only happened one other time in my life and that involved an albino midget on a pogo stick. Anyway, after using my tire tool to scoop the remaining carcass into the cooler like an 8 year old catching a crawdad, I was able to go about my business. I think about that beaver every time I grab a beer from that cooler. I wish I'd made this up.
Worst Decision Ever!!!!!!!!!
Current mood: nostalgic
In the summer of 1991, I ran over a beaver. Went back to the house. Got a garbage bag. Went back and recovered my road kill. Went back to the house and started drinkin' and thinkin'. After more boos than an Irish haunted house, I vowed to get it mounted. I threw it into a cooler full of ice. I forgot about it, and for two weeks, it simmered in the 95 degree Alabama heat. I went to get the cooler one day to fill it with beer. Apparently the cooler had a great seal, because when I opened it, it was like an atomic bomb filled with 2-week old dead beaver water exploding right in my face. We all have said something "smelled like ass." Trust me. You have never smelled the degree of ass that I smelled that hot humid day. That thing had swollen up like a wet Tom Clancy paperback. So after regaining my composure, I picked up the cooler, stuck it in the trunk of the ole Taurus and drove as fast as I could out into the country to dispose of the body. As I was reaching speeds that would have qualified me for Talladega, a deer ran out into the road and I slammed on my brakes. The dead beaver ass water tipped over in my trunk and the smell was so volatile that, before I knew it, my windshield was covered in the previous nights ram "and" noodles. Between the tears and the noodles, I could not see a thing and instinctly turned on my windshield wipers. Of course that did no good, so I finally just slammed on my brakes, popped the trunk, jumped out, grabbed the beaver by the tail, BUT it slid off like a 4-week old banana peel. I cannot replicate the sound that came out of my mouth when that happened. It's only happened one other time in my life and that involved an albino midget on a pogo stick. Anyway, after using my tire tool to scoop the remaining carcass into the cooler like an 8 year old catching a crawdad, I was able to go about my business. I think about that beaver every time I grab a beer from that cooler. I wish I'd made this up.
Life Ain't Always Beautiful
Monday, March 19, 2007
Life Ain't Always Beautiful
Current mood: dirty
Gary Allan has his Greatest Hits out and it is absolutely fantastic. It's a different kind of country. He is California country from the Bakersfield area, ie Buck Owens and Dwight Yokam. He has a very unique voice and I highly recommend this CD. My favorite song on there is called Life Ain't Always Beautiful (but it's a beautiful ride) unless you're driving from Shreveport to Opelika via I-20 and HWY 80. Like a brand new Nun with a cold sore, this ride is psychologically painful.
So I had plenty of time to think today. I often ponder about my childhood. Man, I have had some crazy things happen. It feels good to talk about them via the World Wide Web.
My brother Wylie and I were taking a bath together, which was quite normal for boys of our age, 11 and 13. Of course, I kid. We were probably 5 and 7, which is still a bit weird but oh well. We were sitting in the tub together facing each other with our feet touching as if we were rolling a ball to each other. Hopefully, there was no rolling of any balls on this or any occasion.
We were sitting in the bathtub when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a turd that appeared to come from nowhere. All I know is that me, my brother, and doodoo were involved. I'm not sure where it came from. I like to think my brother did it. Actually, I'd like to think I did it because it would be less gross, but I'm pretty sure he did it, because my brother is more of a stingray type in that he shoots barbs, whereas I'm more of the octopus ink-shooting type.
Yep, my brother doodooed on me. But, it wasn't messy. I am at least grateful that it was 100% firm. It could have been bad. Real bad. It could have been loose and on the same scale as the Exxon Valdez oil spill disaster. Wylie could have been the Joseph Hazelwood of our bathtub and I could have been one of those poor birds that was completely covered in "oil."
Of course DNA could have proved that he did it. Yep Doodoo and Nasty Ass, but no one checked.
Unfortunately, this is a true story. I don't have to make stuff up. I just have to remember. Yeah, life ain't always beautiful and it's not always a beautiful ride and I would change some things if I could go back in time. Having said that, I love life. Life is wonderful, even when you're getting shit on. Rock on! Peace……..
Subscribe to my blog.
Buy my DVD….www.jodyfuller.com, www.myspace.com/jodyfuller, or email for the snail mail address.
Life Ain't Always Beautiful
Current mood: dirty
Gary Allan has his Greatest Hits out and it is absolutely fantastic. It's a different kind of country. He is California country from the Bakersfield area, ie Buck Owens and Dwight Yokam. He has a very unique voice and I highly recommend this CD. My favorite song on there is called Life Ain't Always Beautiful (but it's a beautiful ride) unless you're driving from Shreveport to Opelika via I-20 and HWY 80. Like a brand new Nun with a cold sore, this ride is psychologically painful.
So I had plenty of time to think today. I often ponder about my childhood. Man, I have had some crazy things happen. It feels good to talk about them via the World Wide Web.
My brother Wylie and I were taking a bath together, which was quite normal for boys of our age, 11 and 13. Of course, I kid. We were probably 5 and 7, which is still a bit weird but oh well. We were sitting in the tub together facing each other with our feet touching as if we were rolling a ball to each other. Hopefully, there was no rolling of any balls on this or any occasion.
We were sitting in the bathtub when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a turd that appeared to come from nowhere. All I know is that me, my brother, and doodoo were involved. I'm not sure where it came from. I like to think my brother did it. Actually, I'd like to think I did it because it would be less gross, but I'm pretty sure he did it, because my brother is more of a stingray type in that he shoots barbs, whereas I'm more of the octopus ink-shooting type.
Yep, my brother doodooed on me. But, it wasn't messy. I am at least grateful that it was 100% firm. It could have been bad. Real bad. It could have been loose and on the same scale as the Exxon Valdez oil spill disaster. Wylie could have been the Joseph Hazelwood of our bathtub and I could have been one of those poor birds that was completely covered in "oil."
Of course DNA could have proved that he did it. Yep Doodoo and Nasty Ass, but no one checked.
Unfortunately, this is a true story. I don't have to make stuff up. I just have to remember. Yeah, life ain't always beautiful and it's not always a beautiful ride and I would change some things if I could go back in time. Having said that, I love life. Life is wonderful, even when you're getting shit on. Rock on! Peace……..
Subscribe to my blog.
Buy my DVD….www.jodyfuller.com, www.myspace.com/jodyfuller, or email for the snail mail address.
I Be Strokin'
Sunday, March 18, 2007
I Be Strokin'
Current mood: cheerful
That's what I be doin'. I be strokin'.....the ego, that is. Every now and then we need a little stroking of the ole ego, so I went through and copied and pasted some of the comments about my comedy. I left them as is. Thanks for all the wonderful comments that you guys and gals have left me over time. I could have posted a hundred more. Thanks for being good to me. Peace!
Watched your DVD last night, quite impressive. There was material in there I hadn't heard. I was rolling. Good job. Peter, Madison, WI
Hey Jody! :-) I just now got around to watching your DVD tonight and I thought it was excellent, you are one hilarious dude!! My mom also watched it with me and thought the same thing. Amanda, Stonewall, LA
OMG! Just finished watching your video! Hilarious!!! Great job! Can't wait to see you in person. Donna, Huntsville, AL
check out myspace Jody.I got you up there with Dane cook,and your friggin funnier!Look how he blew up.Your next bro! Bernie, Tacoma, WA
Dude....I just watched a couple of your videos....you absolutely kill me! I think the joke about about stuttering with terret's (sp?) was my favorite....F-f-f-f....S-s-s-s! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. You are so funny! Veeda, Olympia, WA
So Jody your the funniest ever, just wanted to see if you had any plans for ft stewart or hunter army airfield near savannah? Charles, Savannah, GA
Hope you are doing well! Just wanted to let you know I have been checking out some of your newest videos and was laughing my ass off! Sorry for the "ass" word but it was that funny! Keep up the good work!!!!! Julie, Raleigh, NC
We all really enjoyed the show! You are great! Can't wait to see you again. Emily, Auburn, AL
Jody your show was great sat. night. I laughed my rear off. John, Opelika, AL
We had a great time and we all think you are great! It was very special that you took the time to make sure you spoke to everyone! Can't wait to see you next time your in town! Brandy, Opelika, AL
Can I just tell you that I thought your show was WONDERFUL!! Jody you are great!!! Jeni, Opelika, AL
Jody, we all had so much fun tonight! It was a great show and you are such a sweetheart! You made time to meet everyone there, that is awesome! You rock and we all can't wait to see you again! Jessica, Opelika, AL
Jody, the show tonight was awesome!!! It was great to finally meet you. Elaine, Auburn, AL
I laffed so hard at the beaver story I pissed on myself, that was the most absolute funniest thing ever, I could just imagine you doin all of those things, one by one. Anonymous
TOO FUNNY... WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS STUFF? I AM SERIOUSLY AMAZED WITH YOUR WIT AND SENSE OF HUMOR.. HURRY BACK TO SEE US! Shanna, Tacoma, WA
I cant watch any more of your videos otherwise I'll end up peeing myself. Anonymous
OMG!!! I'm crying right now. Litterally...you my friend are the funniest man I've ever known. I give this one a perfect 10!!! ;0) I wish I could speak for the beaver!! Anna, Portland, OR
my kids think you are hilarious, they ask me everyday if you have a new story or video Kim and Charlie, Opelika, AL
I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying! And I'm seriously jealous that you went to the Vanilla Ice concert!! Leigh, St. Louis, MO
I Be Strokin'
Current mood: cheerful
That's what I be doin'. I be strokin'.....the ego, that is. Every now and then we need a little stroking of the ole ego, so I went through and copied and pasted some of the comments about my comedy. I left them as is. Thanks for all the wonderful comments that you guys and gals have left me over time. I could have posted a hundred more. Thanks for being good to me. Peace!
Watched your DVD last night, quite impressive. There was material in there I hadn't heard. I was rolling. Good job. Peter, Madison, WI
Hey Jody! :-) I just now got around to watching your DVD tonight and I thought it was excellent, you are one hilarious dude!! My mom also watched it with me and thought the same thing. Amanda, Stonewall, LA
OMG! Just finished watching your video! Hilarious!!! Great job! Can't wait to see you in person. Donna, Huntsville, AL
check out myspace Jody.I got you up there with Dane cook,and your friggin funnier!Look how he blew up.Your next bro! Bernie, Tacoma, WA
Dude....I just watched a couple of your videos....you absolutely kill me! I think the joke about about stuttering with terret's (sp?) was my favorite....F-f-f-f....S-s-s-s! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. You are so funny! Veeda, Olympia, WA
So Jody your the funniest ever, just wanted to see if you had any plans for ft stewart or hunter army airfield near savannah? Charles, Savannah, GA
Hope you are doing well! Just wanted to let you know I have been checking out some of your newest videos and was laughing my ass off! Sorry for the "ass" word but it was that funny! Keep up the good work!!!!! Julie, Raleigh, NC
We all really enjoyed the show! You are great! Can't wait to see you again. Emily, Auburn, AL
Jody your show was great sat. night. I laughed my rear off. John, Opelika, AL
We had a great time and we all think you are great! It was very special that you took the time to make sure you spoke to everyone! Can't wait to see you next time your in town! Brandy, Opelika, AL
Can I just tell you that I thought your show was WONDERFUL!! Jody you are great!!! Jeni, Opelika, AL
Jody, we all had so much fun tonight! It was a great show and you are such a sweetheart! You made time to meet everyone there, that is awesome! You rock and we all can't wait to see you again! Jessica, Opelika, AL
Jody, the show tonight was awesome!!! It was great to finally meet you. Elaine, Auburn, AL
I laffed so hard at the beaver story I pissed on myself, that was the most absolute funniest thing ever, I could just imagine you doin all of those things, one by one. Anonymous
TOO FUNNY... WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS STUFF? I AM SERIOUSLY AMAZED WITH YOUR WIT AND SENSE OF HUMOR.. HURRY BACK TO SEE US! Shanna, Tacoma, WA
I cant watch any more of your videos otherwise I'll end up peeing myself. Anonymous
OMG!!! I'm crying right now. Litterally...you my friend are the funniest man I've ever known. I give this one a perfect 10!!! ;0) I wish I could speak for the beaver!! Anna, Portland, OR
my kids think you are hilarious, they ask me everyday if you have a new story or video Kim and Charlie, Opelika, AL
I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying! And I'm seriously jealous that you went to the Vanilla Ice concert!! Leigh, St. Louis, MO
My BIggest Concern
Saturday, March 17, 2007
My Biggest Concern
Current mood: melancholy
Ever feel like a naked Albino with shiny ear rings playing hide-and-seek in the dark…you know, you just can't hide for shit.
Sometimes I feel like a one-handed juggler. A lot going on here and it's all good. Really getting stoked about going back to Iraq. I'm going to be very close to my old unit, the unit I deployed to Iraq with in 03-04...I told them I would come over and perform for them during their deployment, but I didn't exactly seeing it come to fruition via my own deployment.
Last night was crazy. I went to eat at Outback with a buddy and two couples. The waiter asked if me and my buddy were together. I looked at him like he had a midget climbing out of his ear. Ain't nothing wrong with being gay, but I ain't gay. Maybe I need to grow my meth-lab beard back out, wear my Dale Jr. cap, and sing some Skynrd. At least he didn't ask if I was a vegetarian. I would have come across the table or I might have just said "No, I love meat" and then he really would've thought I was gay.
I'm not a fan of vegetables. Never have been, never will be. Corn is my most hated. Someone was once offended and asked/said "You don't like corn on the cob?" I'm like, "I don't like corn on the plate. I don't give a damn what you put it on." I just don't like it. Maybe it has something to do with the 80's cinematic classic "Children of the Corn." I used to think that movie was stupid but it must have been pretty well written for us to be scared of some corn. I ain't scared of no corn. I just don't like it.
One of my friends I had dinner with last night is a police officer. He was telling us about a midget prisoner they currently have. He has to sleep on the top bunk because his cellmate is in a wheelchair. The midget has to climb up by stepping on the table. He is often seen pushing the wheelchair guy around, and I can imagine it looking like my 5 foot 2 inch tall grandma driving her 1979 LTD down The 4 Lane in Opelika. I'm trying to lay off midgets from here on out but that was a true story that I felt I needed to share.
I hear HBO is developing a new series about a funeral home that caters to midgets. It's called 3 Feet Under.
I know I'll be fine. I'm not worried about much, but I am worried a bit. Not about the mortars or Improvised Explosive Devices, aka IED's. I'm more worried about the MED's. Yep, the dreaded Midget Explosive Devices. They ride their goats along the highway throwing cherry bombs at unsuspecting victims. Another tactic is them strapping bottle rockets to their back, thus becoming midget mortars. They'll be looking for me. Rest assured. I hope to make peace with the midget world. I am willing to throw in the white washcloth.
Please ign up for my blog now. Also, not sure how often I'll be able to do the myspace thing when I'm in Iraq, so please be sure to click on the link below to sign up for my email list and I can keep you up to date on the deployment, the comedy, etc.
http://www.jodyfuller.com/email.shtml
Have a great day!
My Biggest Concern
Current mood: melancholy
Ever feel like a naked Albino with shiny ear rings playing hide-and-seek in the dark…you know, you just can't hide for shit.
Sometimes I feel like a one-handed juggler. A lot going on here and it's all good. Really getting stoked about going back to Iraq. I'm going to be very close to my old unit, the unit I deployed to Iraq with in 03-04...I told them I would come over and perform for them during their deployment, but I didn't exactly seeing it come to fruition via my own deployment.
Last night was crazy. I went to eat at Outback with a buddy and two couples. The waiter asked if me and my buddy were together. I looked at him like he had a midget climbing out of his ear. Ain't nothing wrong with being gay, but I ain't gay. Maybe I need to grow my meth-lab beard back out, wear my Dale Jr. cap, and sing some Skynrd. At least he didn't ask if I was a vegetarian. I would have come across the table or I might have just said "No, I love meat" and then he really would've thought I was gay.
I'm not a fan of vegetables. Never have been, never will be. Corn is my most hated. Someone was once offended and asked/said "You don't like corn on the cob?" I'm like, "I don't like corn on the plate. I don't give a damn what you put it on." I just don't like it. Maybe it has something to do with the 80's cinematic classic "Children of the Corn." I used to think that movie was stupid but it must have been pretty well written for us to be scared of some corn. I ain't scared of no corn. I just don't like it.
One of my friends I had dinner with last night is a police officer. He was telling us about a midget prisoner they currently have. He has to sleep on the top bunk because his cellmate is in a wheelchair. The midget has to climb up by stepping on the table. He is often seen pushing the wheelchair guy around, and I can imagine it looking like my 5 foot 2 inch tall grandma driving her 1979 LTD down The 4 Lane in Opelika. I'm trying to lay off midgets from here on out but that was a true story that I felt I needed to share.
I hear HBO is developing a new series about a funeral home that caters to midgets. It's called 3 Feet Under.
I know I'll be fine. I'm not worried about much, but I am worried a bit. Not about the mortars or Improvised Explosive Devices, aka IED's. I'm more worried about the MED's. Yep, the dreaded Midget Explosive Devices. They ride their goats along the highway throwing cherry bombs at unsuspecting victims. Another tactic is them strapping bottle rockets to their back, thus becoming midget mortars. They'll be looking for me. Rest assured. I hope to make peace with the midget world. I am willing to throw in the white washcloth.
Please ign up for my blog now. Also, not sure how often I'll be able to do the myspace thing when I'm in Iraq, so please be sure to click on the link below to sign up for my email list and I can keep you up to date on the deployment, the comedy, etc.
http://www.jodyfuller.com/email.shtml
Have a great day!
Oh Blah Di
Friday, March 09, 2007
Oh blah di
Current mood: drained
Ever feel like a midget treading water in a hot tub? You know, you have issues that very few others have to deal with.
I'm sitting here in my suite in Dothan, Alabama which is at about the equivalent of ordering the Grand Slam breakfast at Denny's. I've been thinking a lot. I have a whole lot on my mind. Sometimes I think my brain is going to explode, kinda like a midget in a microwave.
My life is fantastic! Today was great. I saw my brother and nephew. Had lunch with one of my best friends and talked to my other 3 best friends. Hung out with some of Opelika's finest and Heck! I even saw Auburn's football coach Tommy Tubberville at a chicken finger joint in Opelika and I gave him an autographed DVD. I told him I was giving it to him as a token of my appreciation since he sent me an autographed hat and picture when I was on Active Duty. He was cool. Tonight I ate some fantastic BBQ, walked on the treadmill for an hour, took a swim, and then sat in the hot tub...until I started thinking about that midget treading water in there with me. Kinda spooked me, so I got the hell out of dodge.
Right now I'm more confused than an albino checking the "race" box on an application. What do they check anyway? NONE? VERY WHITE? GLOWY?
Man I'm glad I'm not an albino. Can an albino be racist? I think so. I think they hate everybody because of the color in our skin. Damn albinos. Or is it albinoes, spelled like dominoes since they, too, usually have a little black in em. I'm not sure. I've never seen two at the same time. That would be spooky. I wonder if their favorite Vanilla Ice lyrics are "Turn out the lights and I'll glow, to the extreme, I rock a mike like vandal."
Anyway, life is full of challenges. It's how we deal with those challenges that defines who we are. I can moan and groan, bitch and gripe all I want, but at the end of the day, I'm right back where I started. I am very thankful that I am Jody Fuller, The Stuttering Comic, because I very well could have been Jody Fuller, The Stuttering Midget or Jody Fuller, The Stuttering Albino with a lazy eye workng 3rd shift at the Waffle House.
Ever feel like a midget bragging about his 13 inch big screen TV? You should. Life is relative. Life is good.
Subscribe to my blog now if you want, if you don't want to, oh well, oh blah di, oh blah da........
Oh blah di
Current mood: drained
Ever feel like a midget treading water in a hot tub? You know, you have issues that very few others have to deal with.
I'm sitting here in my suite in Dothan, Alabama which is at about the equivalent of ordering the Grand Slam breakfast at Denny's. I've been thinking a lot. I have a whole lot on my mind. Sometimes I think my brain is going to explode, kinda like a midget in a microwave.
My life is fantastic! Today was great. I saw my brother and nephew. Had lunch with one of my best friends and talked to my other 3 best friends. Hung out with some of Opelika's finest and Heck! I even saw Auburn's football coach Tommy Tubberville at a chicken finger joint in Opelika and I gave him an autographed DVD. I told him I was giving it to him as a token of my appreciation since he sent me an autographed hat and picture when I was on Active Duty. He was cool. Tonight I ate some fantastic BBQ, walked on the treadmill for an hour, took a swim, and then sat in the hot tub...until I started thinking about that midget treading water in there with me. Kinda spooked me, so I got the hell out of dodge.
Right now I'm more confused than an albino checking the "race" box on an application. What do they check anyway? NONE? VERY WHITE? GLOWY?
Man I'm glad I'm not an albino. Can an albino be racist? I think so. I think they hate everybody because of the color in our skin. Damn albinos. Or is it albinoes, spelled like dominoes since they, too, usually have a little black in em. I'm not sure. I've never seen two at the same time. That would be spooky. I wonder if their favorite Vanilla Ice lyrics are "Turn out the lights and I'll glow, to the extreme, I rock a mike like vandal."
Anyway, life is full of challenges. It's how we deal with those challenges that defines who we are. I can moan and groan, bitch and gripe all I want, but at the end of the day, I'm right back where I started. I am very thankful that I am Jody Fuller, The Stuttering Comic, because I very well could have been Jody Fuller, The Stuttering Midget or Jody Fuller, The Stuttering Albino with a lazy eye workng 3rd shift at the Waffle House.
Ever feel like a midget bragging about his 13 inch big screen TV? You should. Life is relative. Life is good.
Subscribe to my blog now if you want, if you don't want to, oh well, oh blah di, oh blah da........
October 15, 1984
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
October 15, 1984
Current mood: embarrassed
Ever feel like a midget with OCD trapped in a styrofoam cooler? You know you could get out.......but really don't want to make a mess.
Life is really good. I have no complaints. I am very happy with where I am in my life, unlike, October 15, 1984.
I was not happy with my life on October 15, 1984. I was 12 years old at the time and our house was really junky. I mean junky. When visitors pulled up, the first thing they heard was the theme song from "Sanford and Son"
One morning, as I was getting ready, I was having trouble finding clean clothes for me to wear. Apparently my "fake" parachute pants and Panama Jack shirts mustv'e been really dirty, because I wasn't sceered to wear dirty clothes (jump ahead 22 years and I still ain't sceard)
Now one of the disadvantages of growing up without a man in the house, is that the kids only hear and see things from a woman's point of view. So, until I was 14 years old, I referred to shirts as tops. That's emabarrassing! Imagine standing around with the fellas and saying "Hey man. I like your top. It's cute." Unfortunatley, I don't have to imagine. I got popped in the lip. My lip swole up like Ron Jeremy's crank on his first day back from vacation.
So I couldn't find any clothes for me to wear. So, I decided to go back into mamma's room and go through her stuff. I found some of her stuff and put on some her stuff and wore some of her stuff to school.
As I stood next to my friend, a guy who will remain anonymous, so let's just call him Garryl Dopher, comes up to me and checks me out, up and down, and all around and then asks the question that nobody ever wants to hear "Are you a boy or are you a girl?" I said "I-I-I-I-I'm a boy, a real boy." I mean I really can't blame him. I was wearing a pair of Jordache and a scoopneck, but hey....
I was worried because ole Garryl had about 8 kids by the time he was in the 8th grade and I didn't want him to try and make me a baby mamma.
So October 15, 1984 is a day that I'll never forget; however, it could have been worse. I first tried on a pair of her CHIC jeans. If I had gone to school with the word CHIC plastered across my ass, there's a good chance I would not be here today.
Jody Fuller, T.S.C.......The Stuttering Crossdresser
October 15, 1984
Current mood: embarrassed
Ever feel like a midget with OCD trapped in a styrofoam cooler? You know you could get out.......but really don't want to make a mess.
Life is really good. I have no complaints. I am very happy with where I am in my life, unlike, October 15, 1984.
I was not happy with my life on October 15, 1984. I was 12 years old at the time and our house was really junky. I mean junky. When visitors pulled up, the first thing they heard was the theme song from "Sanford and Son"
One morning, as I was getting ready, I was having trouble finding clean clothes for me to wear. Apparently my "fake" parachute pants and Panama Jack shirts mustv'e been really dirty, because I wasn't sceered to wear dirty clothes (jump ahead 22 years and I still ain't sceard)
Now one of the disadvantages of growing up without a man in the house, is that the kids only hear and see things from a woman's point of view. So, until I was 14 years old, I referred to shirts as tops. That's emabarrassing! Imagine standing around with the fellas and saying "Hey man. I like your top. It's cute." Unfortunatley, I don't have to imagine. I got popped in the lip. My lip swole up like Ron Jeremy's crank on his first day back from vacation.
So I couldn't find any clothes for me to wear. So, I decided to go back into mamma's room and go through her stuff. I found some of her stuff and put on some her stuff and wore some of her stuff to school.
As I stood next to my friend, a guy who will remain anonymous, so let's just call him Garryl Dopher, comes up to me and checks me out, up and down, and all around and then asks the question that nobody ever wants to hear "Are you a boy or are you a girl?" I said "I-I-I-I-I'm a boy, a real boy." I mean I really can't blame him. I was wearing a pair of Jordache and a scoopneck, but hey....
I was worried because ole Garryl had about 8 kids by the time he was in the 8th grade and I didn't want him to try and make me a baby mamma.
So October 15, 1984 is a day that I'll never forget; however, it could have been worse. I first tried on a pair of her CHIC jeans. If I had gone to school with the word CHIC plastered across my ass, there's a good chance I would not be here today.
Jody Fuller, T.S.C.......The Stuttering Crossdresser
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
